As I walk through
rustling prairie grass,
Crickets concealed,
chirping tête-à-tête;
As I try to reach
the bottom,
Leaving sundogs on
the surface where I dove;
And to the tangerine
moon
That almost sneaked
past me into golden fields;
At the first sign of
Siberian Squill
Announcing the
arrival of spring in my 'hood;
And for Annie,
Who always says yes
when I need a partner in play;
I am grateful,
And to appreciation
I owe my joy.
*to my collage i add prairie wheat & sun, tangerine orange, gold, & blue, and a dog biscuit.
2 comments:
That's an important connection between gratitude and joy. I really like the lines about the tangerine moon, even though I am not sure how it would sneak past you... it's a neat image.
Maybe, to bring out the colours more, you could give a hint in the poem that Siberian Squill is blue (I have them in my lawn but didn't know what they were called!).
More collage, yay! I like the images in this very much. Rustling prairie grass engages the auditory senses as do the crickets, with a nice visual (do they actually chirp head to head? I always pictured them rubbing their legs but it would be cool if they rub their legs while facing one another!! I was nipped by a cricket once. Seriously. It left a little pinch bruise. Ow.)
I really like the "sundogs on the surface where I dove" but would join Jo's quibble with "sneak" as a verb, I can't picture the moon sneaking tangerine or otherwise. Just sub a diff verb and you're good to go, something that evokes more of the loveliness you're evoking already.
I didn't know what Siberian Squill was either but I liked it, but yes knowing more would be cool...and "in my 'hood" sort of takes away from the pastoral sense of this poem, I think you could drop it and have a stronger image...
I almost wonder about dropping off that last line which is already implied by the title and content, and instead using your italic line "to my collage I add..." as your final line. A thought.
May is over today!!! I will miss your words.
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