Catherine, walking at night, is thinking
of what lies outside the reach of streetlamps.
What it is that the light makes invisible.
Whose breath she almost hears
at the mouth of an alley. If she turns
her back she might perceive a movement
in her direction, a gaze fixed on her outline.
She is tempted to defy all warnings and leave
the lighted sidewalk for the dark passage.
In a safer place, far from here, she once walked
alone on a moonless night, testing her footing
with small steps. Her eyes hard-pressed
to judge depth or nearness.
Here, in the lane behind the drugstore,
she might be lucky, or not.
Catherine gives herself a shake. She knows
the foolishness of this. Yet it frightens her less
than it ought. Less than sinking below the surface
of her thought, fingering the tangled weeds
of her own mind.
2 comments:
I love "what lies outside the reach of streetlamps," what "the light makes invisible," and "breath she almost hears at the mouth of an alley." I'm not clear on why she's so drawn to dark alleys. The last line indicates that she's running from her own thoughts; the tone throughout is restrained, almost numb. Am I right? I don't get a sense of the significance of the earlier time she walked alleys; there's some longing there but is she melancholy for childhood, a lost love, a faraway place she travelled, a time when she was healthier? The drug store reference makes me wonder if she's unwell, and the fact that she knows thinks frighten her less than they ought makes me think depression. I'd love more of a sense of who Catherine is (old or young, rich or poor, contemporary or historical, alone or in family, connection to persona, etc.) but I'm guessing that part is answered in the rest of the series. The restrained tone of the whole piece builds tension well.
Cool. The scenario you build, and the spell of that remembered moonless night, get a bit dispelled by "Cathiner gives herself a shake." up to "..than it ought." I like the final line but wonder about the three preceeding it, if you can rework or reorder them to maintain the spell created. I think maybe it is the cliche of "gives herself a shake" and the other two lines that lessens the effectiveness/dispels the spell. Interesting series, would like to see it.
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