uncertain
from the end of the driveway
we watch a slow shooting star
just beyond the stretch
of our fingers, until it becomes
the low glide of a gull, tiny spark
in an uncertain night
Hey all,
This will be my last poem for a while; I'm taking a week of holidays (actual away holidays, not a just a may day holiday). Happy long weekends to one and all!
k.
2 comments:
kerry,
have a great holiday! us poets need actual holidays. too often holidays mean time to write.
here's to rest.
as for this poem, great small moment again. wonder about losing "until it" so that the line reads "just beyond the stretch of our fingers become the low glide..." maybe a line break or em dash or nothing needed at all. just a thought.
I agree with Bren, both in terms of the praise and also with the suggestion for tightening...
I also wanted to note how much I enjoyed the dim intimacy of the poem...
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