mid-Spring bulbs fat, white,
burrow the black earth,
your home of tall Douglas fir
Arbutus groves, red strawberry bark
peeling renewal, a fleshing;
there are stars in long grass
the camas flocked
blue, blue as sapphires of KAF
blue blue as Afghan sky in May
blue blue as her body waiting
for you to come home to her
alive.
9 comments:
Loved this line (could live without fat & white):
"mid-Spring bulbs
burrow the black earth,"
and the "fleshing, peeling" that goes on a few lines later...how lovely to hear your fresh voice again.
(the blue woman at the end confused me. first i thought sad. then i thought dead. then i thought, Smurfette!)
Your Truly Non-useful commentator,
<3 a.
smurfette! I like that
I'm thinking tho'... blue as in dead until he comes home, or blue/sad, or blue/cold or gorgeous saphire blue, perfect, precious, almost unattainable until he is home?
tnx Andy, you are a totally useful commentator
Hey sms,
Very nice to read you again!
I liked the N-Am spring imagery very much, though I struggled a bit with "your home of..." for some reason.
I am not familiar enough with Afghanistan in general and the military specifically to get a few references: "blue as sapphires of KAF"
Though like andie, I struggled with the "blue blue as her body..." image/line, I was left with the image of snow white in a glass case. In stasis.
Part of me has a problem with the image of a passive woman, waiting for a man to re-awaken her, but I suppose that's part of what makes it so strange to be married to /family of someone in the armed forces.
Anyways, can't wait to see what else you get up to on May Day.
when one has a beloved over there it's almost as if you're in suspended animation until they are home safe... so Ariel I think the glass case is apt... it's a level of apprehensiveness/anxiety that makes every day seem like a year in length and the only way some can cope is to shut down part of themselves
this applies to men whose spouses are over there too I'd imagine
good comments
and the sapphires are real sapphires one can buy in the market there
thanks for having me along yet again
or blue from holding her breath
good comment to make me think hard/clarify
I'm late to the conversation here, but I was thrown by the blue body too, but I do like the image of life in complete suspension among all the evidence of life moving forward. Glad to be reading these again!
The beginning is stronger than the second half. Too many blues and the KAF is unclear.
Great details. Makes me miss Victoria and the Camas.
I wonder about placing a comma between Douglas Fir and Arbutus and about different punctuation between arbutus groves and red strawberry bark. Perhaps a colon?
I like the repetition of blue, but wonder about omitting one or two or them. Perhaps in the last line you don't need to say blue as her body, but could imply it, "sky in May blue/as her body waiting for you..."
beautiful!
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