sweat
heavy bag sways, waits patient
as you blot forehead on sleeve
but in the ring you breathe
and swallow sweat, blink, wince
at the sting – one swipe
to dry your face, clear your eyes
lifts arm, shifts focus,
asks her to hammer
a fist into your ribs
3 comments:
The worst, as I recall from my days of yore, was sweat with hairspray in it. Blech!
Which seems incidental, but is probably something female boxers contend with more than male ones...and so is on topic.
Heh.
This seems very tight - even dense - overall but I somehow want a bit more clarity with the second half (starting from "one swipe")
actually, I'd like a little bit less!
this moves well
do you think "asks" quite describes?
this is good
Kerry,
I like this one Very much!
I wonder why the narrator's actions take on an ess in the last three stanzas. Why not: /lift arm/shift focus,/ask her to hammer/a fist into your ribs/
m.
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