Cunning Conversations
Clematis understands the organ of speech
could befall her name, learns sprawl—
the need of the body to fold
itself in to boundaries placed beside
and beyond, fenced lines she straddles
legs she roots, her progress a pioneering
of paths not settled by anyone.
Clematis stretches her arms to hold
more than herself, an offering—
sky’s taut body unused above,
his clouded washboard abdomen
horizon of leanness, a word smoothing
her cheek, one significant sigh
released in a long-winded draught,
the slip of a hybrid tongue shirring
pink-furrowed petals.
4 comments:
Among other things, I really like the cleverness of your smut, Tracy...
Sequences like "clematis stretches her arms to hold / more than herself, an offering— / sky’s taut body unused above, / his clouded washboard abdomen"
or
"one significant sigh /
released in a long-winded draught,/
the slip of a hybrid tongue shirring / pink-furrowed petals" work really well.
I had the slightest trouble with other lines/clauses - like "legs she roots" and the "horizon of leanness"
(mostly because it seems to need an 'a').
I'm looking forward to more of the flower series...
Hi Tracy -
Thanks for your comments on mine. I love this line, "the need of the body to fold/itself into boundaries"
Thanks Ariel and Polly.
Ariel, I agree on both of your suggestions, the 1st because it really is already said, and the 2nd because it doesn't flow well; as in, I trip over it when I read it.
This is lovely, Tracy. I particularly like the lines:
"the need of the body to fold/
itself in to boundaries placed beside"
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