I will be away the rest of the weekend and unable to read/respond to any poems (unless I find a computer with internet access). Enjoy the weekend. I'm really enjoying all of the poems so far--you people kick poetry butt.
Bearded Bouquets—another od(e)ditty
Hops are a coarse bunch—
too smart for beer-bellies
they hang about in toughened packs,
all hairy armed, petiole,
and cordate, clutch dirt-
stiffened rhizomes and grin.
Leathered, they are wild ones
biting birds with bines looped on fences,
make grainy eyes at squirrels
and sharply comb serrated leaves
with palmated lobes. Hops form pacts,
bond together, train their own
green shoots each spring to preserve
their formations, create gang-
branched networks, herbaceous
ideas of their Brandoesque selves.
3 comments:
Hey Tracy,
I really liked the first three couplets of this poem. No, strike that, I like it all - but understand it took me a little longer to negotiate, to visualize the final four couplets. Maybe too much plant jargon?
Tracey, I like what you're working on with this and the hollyhock poem. Great title. Some great sounds here. Though "biting birds with bines looped on fences" might be a little loud?
Wonder in that middle section if one of the images might be ommitted to keep a tighter narrative visual of the hops. Perhaps, "leathered they are wild ones/bine-looped on fences..."
or "biting birds, making grainy eyed at squirrels".
And are they combing the leaves or do they have leaves like combs? I can't quite picture it.
Hope it's clear I think this is a great poem, with all my fiddly comments.
Liked "openly bi-annual" from your latest poem. The playfulness of these poems. Keep them coming.
Thanks for the comments Ariel and Bren. They're very helpful.
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