1.
You can never make the same soup twice.
Follow the recipe, but the vegetables
fresh or bottom drawer
have their own agenda, local vs. organic.
The stainless steel pot a receptacle for mood.
Caffeine-buzz-covering-a-little-sad squash soup.
2.
Walking the west rim of the gorge on sifted dirt paths
past jack-in-the-chamisa rabbits, juncos’ beak-work
in the tawny seed heads, dogs hurdling over sagebrush--
place reflects back who we are at a particular moment.
Not-thinking-about-thinking-about-her afternoon walk.
3.
Muscle memory: chopping an onion.
Add oil, salt, stir.
Even the wooden spoon holds the yellow
stain of what came before.
2 comments:
Hey Bren,
First off, I like the twist on naming of names in this poem.
I like the meditative flow to this one, the hard-won observations.
Though it works against the sentiment of the poem, I've had "Caffeine-buzz-covering-a-little-sad squash soup" more times than I can count...
A few quick notes:
1) Label me sketchily educated, but I don't yet see where Heraclitus comes in...
2) The middle stanza in part two seemed very blocky, compared to the spareness of the other two part and especially of the third part.
I suppose you'll have to decide if that is part of the effect you're going for...
3) Speaking of effects, what would happen if the last part read only:
"Even the wooden spoon holds the yellow
stain of what came before."
this is interesting. I think there is a lot here, and in places I want more e.g., could you give us some moods from the stainless steel pot... and maybe lessen some lines
e.g., follow the recipe, but vegetables, fresh or bottom drawer/have their own agendas
I think you could lose the line, place reflects back... I think that could be implied (says she who is so guilty of narrative!!)
I love the not-thinking-about-her afternoon walk... )oh how when we are in love that's all we can or want to think about)
and last lines, could imply the what came before just simply by being stained.
nice work, thank you
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