o M.,
last night I saw you hold your man’s beret, walk in front. slow left slow right. towards the yawning Hercules. you golden and lined under sodium light.
I watched the five seconds of ramp ceremony on t.v. last night. between Canadian Tire and Tide extra clean. just before Canadian Idol.
number 88.
I remember number 1. his name, his photo, his family all over the pages, the airwaves for days. Canada arguing/oblivious/hostile to you, your men. getting your hands filthy over there.
(tell me, M., are ramp ceremonies always at night?)
then I saw J. pall bearing. slow. terrible casket two-step. the red leaf flat, draping your dead man home.
S
4 comments:
This is lovely, as usual! Just a thought... but it seems to me that you might lead with the detail of S. seeing M. on the broadcast, rather than referring to it after the Canadian Tire and the Tide. Seems to me that given the all the fear, separation, anxiety etc. that the sight of him might be more high impact? Just my $.02...
I think the May Day rules say we can change a post within the day! I took your advice Kerry. do you think it's any better?
thanks
again, well done! especially love: between Canadian Tire and Tide extra clean., and, Canada arguing/oblivious/hostile to you, your men.
for what it's worth...i felt that "just before Canadian Idol" was unneccessary, the previous line already so catching.
I'll vote for leaving Canadian Idol in, as it provides a good contrast as to what Cdns are watching and "worried" about and talking about, adding weight to this interesting commentary.
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