Thursday, May 24, 2012

Flight path

we navigate by starlight and faulty instruments
through a night sky obscured by clouds
-- we are meant to sink like skipping stones

but first, we will:

map the constellations in our eyes
trace the topography of our scars
whisper secrets with plaid tongues

every crash landing begins with a peaceful ascent

3 comments:

SMSteele said...

I'm liking this... but think you can lose the 'we are' and write
--meant to sink like skipping stones

I have difficulty with that image, though I like it.

--meant to sink like skipping stones spent ?

you could lose a bunch of indefinite articles, 'through night sky obscured by clouds' e.g.

what do you mean with 'plaid tongues'? tartan?

finally, 'every crash landing begins with peaceful ascents'

Polly said...

Beautiful!

Consider "even" crash landings begin with peaceful ascents?"

I too stumbled on "plaid" - loved the 2 lines previous but couldn't connect to that adjective.

Marjolaine Hébert said...

I am wowed by everything that comes after the colon. Wow!