Walking the same circles
pushing my penance. Without fail,
the cart with one wonky wheel. Prescribed list
of remedies for our daily ailments.
If there was an aisle for eye of newt
I'd find it. Item by item, I supply
the Aegean stable with straw. Unload
again at the till, reload. Wobble to the van
in pouring rain. Passersby pointing
when items fall. Load the van, drive home.
Carry it in again. Put it away.
Done shopping for another day.
3 comments:
Ha, love "an aisle for eye of newt" and details like "the cart with one wonky wheel."
I had to look up Bhavacakra - great mixing of traditions with the Aegean stable.
And congrats on your daily posting andie!!
Funny! Lovely! (Oh how I hate being stuck with the %$%* wonky wheel! argh!)
The Bhavacakra reference is quite apt (I had to look these up, too). I think the stables reference works, too (is it Augean?)-- in the sense of it being an enormous task, menial rather than heroic-- is that what you were after?
I'd change "items" in the 4th-last line to something specific, partly because of "item by item" earlier on, also it's just more vivid. In 3rd-last line "it" should probably be changed to something specific; otherwise it sounds like it's referring to the van.
Personally, I'd leave off "done shopping" at the end. I think the shopping part is clear. Could you make some other comment on the nature of the task (e.g. the "for another day" part of it)?
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