Through the car window, a coyote
standing still in an empty field.
Once, a glimpse of a slender brown animal
slipping into the undergrowth
and once, the banner of a skunk's tail
in the tall grass.
In the bushes, a rustle of something fleeing
as footsteps pass too near.
So rare, that permission to look long,
to take in the blunt shape of a head,
the way wet hairs spike together
on a furred back. The tail's propulsion.
If you could fade, escape notice.
Become a tree, a shadow.
A brief sighting you try to interpret.
You look and look after it's gone.
3 comments:
This is lovely.. and I love coming upon animals in their habitat (or mine!), so I enjoyed the sightings.
The flow of the poem is also very nice, easy.
I felt a bit hesitant at Once/and once. The permission is whom's? The one you give yourself or the animal's?
I think, also, you could get away with cutting out the last stanza.
I agree with Marjo that you don't need the line "a brief sighting you try to interpret" - but I do like the idea of the last line. Maybe save all references to the viewer until the very end? (e.g. cut or move "through the car window" and "so rare, that permission to look long")
Hm yeh these are good comments I think if you save the authorial p.o.v. for the end it does make it more powerful and we end with one last "sighting" (of humanity / the narrator!)
Post a Comment