mommy come see
I combed my hair
now I’m a normal kid
mommy they said
they’d play
with me
if I threw
garbage
we play
house
and I am the
window
mommy how about
I was a cat
and you took
me home
called me Precious
let’s
pretend
I was alone
and you
found me
4 comments:
Pretend, indeed. heart in throat.
I have the sweetest kindergarten student that I see one on one. With me, she learns & plays & smiles, the light of my week. But already, her peers (and teacher..) have made her an outcast. Oh, what they're missing out on!
Interesting how the child shifts focus from the other kids to the mother. More hope of affirmation there?
That middle stanza says so much about the other kids, the way the child wants to be 'in' with them. It makes me wonder how much she understands about their attitude towards her. It feels ambiguous on that point, and I think that works.
My only quibble is the line 'called me Precious.' It felt just slightly too sentimental. Could you show that somehow?
I really like that third line, Angeline.
Not as big a fan of the last two, particularly the second-last. The cat named Precious undoes what you were building in the previous lines, and even the poignancy of that last line gets reduced.
that too is heartbreaking Margo.
Angeline, can you use a different word than 'normal'?
I think there is so much more in this that needs to get out.
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