I'm a sucker for lost causes.
For boyfriends that can never be,
for candidates that are unelectable,
for family relationships that can never be healed.
I'm a sucker for the underdog,
the hopeless case,
the wounded outmatched welterweight against the ropes,
the guy in the wrong place at the wrong time
the prisoner facing the firing squad,
even if he's guilty as hell.
I'll bet on the long-shot,
Place my chips on zero,
Give money to homeless guys,
even the ones wearing new shoes.
I want the best for everyone,
even those who have done me harm,
even those who will never know
what harm they have done.
===
Sorry I have been so negligent with my posting. May has become what September was in my college days - a month of changes!
5 comments:
first off, don't change! it's called compassion.
now I'm thinking it would be good to repeat 'I'm a sucker for.' I think it would punch the piece up. literally and figuratively.
Nice to see you back Polly! Hope the changes haven't been too stressful.
I agree, the underdogs need love too...and I think if you put "I'm a sucker for wanting the best for everyone" in the last stanza that wd do it?
I like the details you pull out (outmatched welterweight against the ropes, new shoes)- maybe more of that if you revise? and maybe replace homeless guys with panhandlers? I think it was "guys" that tripped me up there...
I like your ending & yr theme :)
I like the rhythm and pacing in this poem. It feels mostly pretty tight. Only the phrase 'family relationships' feels a bit flat... I wanted more strongly accented words like you have elsewhere ('hopeless case,' 'wounded outmatched welterweight,' etc.).
I think the last stanza could be more powerful if the examples were more specific-- if you'd rather not get too detailed, even changing 'done me harm' to something less general might do it.
The lines about the homeless guys are great. Stubborn hopefulness!
Another very tangible poem, Polly. And I sure feel that last stanza.
I love, 'I'm a sucker for the underdog, the hopeless case, the wounded outmatched welterweight' !
and, 'I'll bet on the long-shot, Place my chips on zero'
There's something magic in repetitions of 3, and I think that would work well in this one (a 3rd 'I'm a sucker for...')
Thanks all - great modifications, appreciate it!
Post a Comment