Saturday, May 26, 2012
The Setting
Tavernous cavern, a forest of men felled and stacked at each table. Guinness on cardboard coasters, sleeve-polished shine on every table edge. A hundred years of unfiltered cigarettes seep through fresher stucco. Glasses sing themselves full and empty, ricochet of billiard balls tap blindly their way across a flocked green. Cheap cologne, moderate scotch, dear whiskey: a smell like God's own armpit.
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5 comments:
well I don't know about you, but I drink the strong Islas which smell like God's socks!!!
wonderful!
That last line is great. I also really like the wordplay in 'Tavernous cavern" - really neat. Most of the images work well, but "fresher stucco" made me stop and think rather than evoking a sound or smell; I'd suggest doing something else with that.
Great opening! I wonder, maybe just "sleeve shined"--polished would be implied.
Very nice, Andie!
'fresher stucco' without a 'the' to introduce it doesn't allow me to see that there is any other stucco present. and if there isn't, than it should simply be 'fresh stucco'.
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