Thursday, May 15, 2008

belem


last afternoon,
guidebook zipped away

warm, luscious custard tarts

lips leave cinnamon
on the mouth of the wine bottle

(This feels really sparse, even for me, but anything more seems over-written. I'm not sure if I even want the first stanza...thoughts?)

2 comments:

Marjolaine Hébert said...

First response, Nyum! It started at warm & the taste of the poem didn't leave me. I think it needs the/a first stanza, but I'm not sure 'guidebook' is enough, i.e. I'd like to understand a bit more about what is ending that allows for the savoury celebration that follows.

SMSteele said...

I love those words

cinnamon/on the mouth of the wine bottle

I can see it and taste it and enjoy it

I agree with you about leaving the first stanza out or else maybe the guidebook

nice