you, me
dog, sky
trailer
expectations
melting on the
black tar highway
day jobs
chomped up by
unending clouds
the past
exits through a
duct-taped tailpipe
exhaust-ion
left behind
widening
a hole in
the ozone
not our problem
we won't pass
this spot
again
4 comments:
i really enjoyed this piece. love the past exits through a duct-taped tailpipe.
very nice. i really like- the past exits through a duct-taped tailpipe, and the last stanza also.
I just love the pairings
you, me
dog, sky
and then expectations melting, very nice
and the past exits through a duct-taped tailpipe
etc... very nice, esp. the not our problem, that feeling of who gives a *&%$ we're on hols! fun.
Hey P,
Nice work with very few words...
I agree with my fellow commentaquistas on all points and so will comment instead on things that didn't quite work for me...
"exhast-ion" for instance, is too clever by half, and the last two stanzas veer off into another subject, maybe even another poem.
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