What a day--surprised a crane in a sudden clearcut
takeoff fast, not a speck ungainly.
Vole-holes and inhale juniper,
brand new long-haired dog, happy
the way only dogs can be happy with their noses buried in underbrush following the breeze
into the trees, like birdwatchers, novice spring
forest-walkers, tempted so often off path.
Ticks in the upholstery for weeks.
Tail thumping as we tweezed them each.
Happier than me running
fingers through my hair.
But no parasites go to dog heaven.
Scatter her ashes in the boreal forest,
off mossed and faint path,
tuck our pants into our socks,
and wag our tails.
3 comments:
I feel like this gets off to a slow start, but I really love the ending of this piece. I think the middle section could be condensed a bit I'd also trim off the "What a day" intro. My fave line is "Tail thumping as we tweezed them each." Wonderful!
This is a non-poetic comment: you had a brand new long-haired dog and then you had to scatter her ashes? :(
Poetically:I like the crane but wasn't sure it should be the start, maybe a later detail or the line after "so often off path" or...
Agree with Kerry "what a day" could go (since this doesn't feel like it is all one day, there are weeks mentioned in the middle)
This is my fave may day poem of yours. I love all the visuals "vole-holes", "ticks in the upholstery for weeks/Tail thumping as we tweezed them." Like the echoes of breeze and fingers through hair, the ticks returning at the end with "tuck our pants into our socks".
I wonder about a stanza break after " through my hair"? The break might offer a breather for the time lapse Andie talks about.
After a bit of tinkering, I think this poem will really shine.
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