der mom, i 4gt 4gt did i tell u
bout th fall, th smck agnst my skul?
ystrdaey i slept & slept dreemd
of thos hoove left, 1 pon1,
my dad, r dead,
& whle i slept they crpt
in2 my studeeo in th treez
my Vlentine cathdrl wuds
they mde me tee, they tlked 2 me
we tlked gossup, my dad tld jokes,
& whn i woke i watchd thm bord
th fishng boat th Elsie K
th 1 tht floats amung th trreez
th 1 tht sumhow frghtns me
til i peekd in saw dad & chriss
& beutiful 1 r own court en ee
& saw thm laff & saw thm smok
slam vdka shootrs on tht boat
they delt 4 hands they bekond me
bt my hed culdn't let me see how
2 swim a wuden sea, my brokn hed
i wnt 2 sleep, i 4gt mom
do u rmembr me?
4 comments:
I like the rhyme here, and the almost...magical realism... as well as the concussive shorthand but found this one a bit harder to decipher than the first.
Words that threw me... "hoove", "Vlentine" and I didn't understand the line "& beutiful 1 r own court en ee"
swimming a wooden sea, that's a great metaphor, and I like how you circle back.
hoove - who've
Valentine studio = the name of my studio at Banff
& beutiful 1... - and beautiful one, our own courtenay
Very effective ending.
Beautiful...
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