boxing club
the hardest part of boxing
is pushing yourself
through the door that first time,
down stairs to the dingy-dim,
reek of effort and old gloves,
throb of heavy metal
all biceps and sweat
muscle shirts and mashed noses
until you look closer: unicorn tattoo
on a thick shoulder, butterfly stickers
glittering on the bulb of a glove
return once, twice, and the door gets lighter,
three times, four, and leaving –
stepping into air and sunshine –
becomes a punch to the face
3 comments:
I really like the first two stanzas. I particulary like the phrase "bulb of a glove."
I am not too sure about the final stanza. It seems to over-explain the poem unnecessarily.
I think you should end with one line. "Boxing, it gets easier."
Yes, I liked the bulb image. Also the "dingy-dim/ reek of effort and old gloves."
I see Kelly-Anne's point, but I wouldn't necessarily replace the last stanza with just one line. You could tighten that stanza, though, especially the first two lines.
really like this.
for the final stanza what about something more like:
"but the door gets lighter -
stepping back out into air & sunshine
becomes the punch to the face"
i liked the unicorn tattoo and the butterfly stickers on the bulb of a glove.
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