watching
he watches through the camera viewfinder,
reduces the fight to cute, harmless –
you miniature, an actor on the screen
throwing a small fist at your opponent
or, perhaps, placing a cookie in her mouth,
letting her pat your face
lens filters blows,
shrunken punches don’t hurt
as much – you, her, him
but he tries again and again to hold you
safe, still, with the pinch of shutter
3 comments:
I like this a lot, but wonder if the second line shouldn't be left out. It simply tells what's shown quite effectively in the rest of the poem.
Kerry, I've really enjoyed following this series.
I agree with J on the second line.
I like "the pinch of the shutter" very much.
I wonder too about providing some transition between the longish (for you anyways...) lines of the first stanza and the short punch lines of the second. It seems like a different idea, but the lack of caps/periods makes me read it wrong and have to rewind, re-read.
yeh i 3rd the motion of j & a - the poem does read better without it. love this! man i really like this boxing poetry.
waiting for a footwork or jumprope one...
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