A site for May Day, an effort of poets from Winnipeg and beyond, taking place for the eleventh time in May 2015.
I love the scales shimmering across her heart, but lockets is a bit more challenging. and 'her sons are phantom limbs' - does this mean they give her pain e.g., post-polio phantom limbs? there are great lines in here, could we have a bit more?
yes…this feels like the beginning of something epic
What do you mean by "epic"?
a nail gunsnaps(fastens/bits)...Leviathanswallows? her name(providing closure; and plausible impossibility, in keeping the surreal)
bites I mean (not bits)
You've got references to both real and metaphorical dragons, which works-- but I'm not sure how the nail gun relates to either one.
Ooh, interesting suggestion, Ted.
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7 comments:
I love the scales shimmering across her heart, but lockets is a bit more challenging.
and 'her sons are phantom limbs' - does this mean they give her pain e.g., post-polio phantom limbs?
there are great lines in here, could we have a bit more?
yes…this feels like the beginning of something epic
What do you mean by "epic"?
a nail gun
snaps
(fastens/bits)
...Leviathan
swallows? her name
(providing closure; and plausible impossibility, in keeping the surreal)
bites I mean (not bits)
You've got references to both real and metaphorical dragons, which works-- but I'm not sure how the nail gun relates to either one.
Ooh, interesting suggestion, Ted.
Post a Comment