Blinded by winter’s
inner thighs, young girls
in 80s jumpers stroll the Drive
in squeaky Keds—so much ironic flesh,
I feel old. The first hot day
brings picnic blankets and pot
smoke, novels consumed
on front stoops, all the leisure
a paycheque can afford,
grab another beer
from the vegetable drawer.
Time to start shaving
more than once a week.
Late evening rays
reflect on red brick:
all the pores and cracks
softened. After a long bout
of sleeping alone, it’s not
just the street trees
that need watering.
4 comments:
Oh man! It was about 6 degrees out there today and I saw girls in short shorts.
I like the sounds within. I'm wanting to see a slightly different form.
Blinded by winter's inner thighs
young girls in 80's jumpers stroll the Drive
in squeaky Keds- so much ironic flesh
I feel old...
nice.
Firstly-you're a brilliant writer.
I had trouble though with this one, uncertain who my character(s)are. I see the young girls, and that matches blankets and pot and 'summer shaving'(as we must;) but I can't reconcile that with novels consumed, bottled beer,or the sleeping alone. My 2cents, for what it's worth...
That opening line/sentence, so great.
I also like the telling details (beer in vegetable drawer) but you cd possibly tighten by omitting details like "all the leisure a paycheque can afford" - let the circumstance show rather than having to tell and all that jazz. Same with the concluding stanza tho' I'm not sure how exactly.
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