On the train ride home tonight,
the first day of real tshirt weather,
I'm surrounded by a conspiracy
of blue and red
jerseys, t-shirts, caps,
even a dress
that barely covers boobs
CU -- neckline-- BS
They chatter loudly in pairs,
couples, families,
taking up seats
two by two,
like they will at the park,
sipping colas and Red Bull
as if they need to get
more jacked up.
They pity me perhaps,
heading home without a seat-mate,
just my book for company.
But I was them once.
On my way to a game,
secure in the happiness
that no runs have yet to score,
anything is possible,
the home team could still win
despite recent statistics.
This could be the night
the star player beats his slump.
I don't even know anymore
who that star player is -
I haven't had to care,
haven't had to check daily websites
to keep up with intense speculations
about streaks, batting order, standings.
I had in fact thought until now
that since we finally struck out,
this would be a summer without baseball,
unthinkable as that once would be.
But I see tonight
baseball goes on without me,
surrounds me, befriends me.
And summer reaches out --
in blue, in red --
to pull me in.
3 comments:
Hi Polly,
Great visual scene here. Emotional content well handled. Like "this could be the night the star player beats his slump" and how baseball comes back into the speaker's life. Really well done.
Few small ideas: "unthinkable as that once would be" is a bit wordy - is it needed? Or rephrase?
I don't know that you need the word pity. I wonder about condensing/rephrasing here. I think the stanza could start, "heading home, with just my book for company, I was once them..." Or something like that.
One other thought: cut befriends me? "...surrounds me as summer reaches out"
Really enjoyed this one.
Very nice! Sad and hopeful at once.
I like this one, Polly. It's simple, tight, emotive. I like the one life come together for this girl/nice flow.
Post a Comment