Catullus 70 -
or
To No One--Nulli, a translation
Nulli se dicit mulier mea nubere malle
quam mihi, non si se Iuppiter ipse petat.
dicit: sed mulier cupido quod dicit amanti
in vento et rapida scribere oportet aqua.
"To no one," my woman says,
"There is no one I would prefer to marry myself to,
more than you, not even if Juppiter himself should seek me."
So she says. But what a woman tells her lust-filled lover
ought to be written on the winds and rapid rushing rivers.
To No One Else
-after Catullus 70
He reminds me of Heraclitus'
forgetful river and although I cannot
cannot have him, I should be able to
remember this, each time I catch
his liquid green eyes
in my palms I write love
on a rock and throw it.
Plunk and splash
in the water, where it will remain.
(The first is a translation, the second is a rough little poem inspired by it.)
3 comments:
I like the simplicity and power of this piece, but I'm having a bit of trouble seeing the action. (the catching of one thing and throwing of another.) I wonder if there's a way to either smooth that out, or have two different actions. Also, the word "satisfying" was a bit of a sore thumb for me -- I think "plunk and splash" is very satisfying all on its own.
oh I love, "I write love on a rock and throw it"
Ah, someone else who appreciates Heraclitus! His 'flowing' words are the last ones to be found on my blog's home page & always with me.
I really enjoyed this, as a lover of language of course. But I like the liberties you have taken with the language, and the flow of your word choices, especially: in my palms I write love/on a rock and throw it,/plunk and splash - gorgeous.
I trip over 'where stays'.
suggestions - where it stays; where remains; or even where stays without the comma at the end.
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