lovers
dance
his lips traverse the expanse of her dancer’s back
mouth to skin; he attempts to remove rote from all actions
compulsive in his
efforts to save her
his hands find all manner of unquiet in her body
his hands find all manner of unquiet in her body
in the mirror his
reflection gazes out, seeks her blessing
divines salvation in the untying of her ponytail
divines salvation in the untying of her ponytail
outstretched unfurling she offers good medicine
he will no longer quibble about the open umbrella in the hall
he will no longer quibble about the open umbrella in the hall
she will not mention
the dribble of treacle on the kitchen counter
his shifting suppleness, her shimmering a sign
his shifting suppleness, her shimmering a sign
there will be no more
holding back
they enter knowing wind would never mar bone
they enter knowing wind would never mar bone
3 comments:
First of all I like the form because two's/couplets suit the topic. Nice.
(At first I thought it was a new SMS piece!)
Very sensual and intimate. I like the counterpoints you offer, too, of the quibbles and dribbles they are making agreement to overlook, and the final wildness yet gentleness…the last line made me pause, I wasn't sure what it meant completely but it still felt right.
I think my favorite line is the first, with all those S sounds that make you read it slowly. Very sensuous.
I found the last line puzzling, too… not sure where the wind came from.
this is from one of those CV2 2-day poetry contest... the last line was a result of not knowing what to do with 'mar'. I like the sound of the line but understand it is a bit vague. and yes where did the wind come from?? thank you everyone.
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