Friday, May 07, 2010

another good woman undressing//Bree

another good woman undressing
in a dimly-lit motel, fresh sheets by the hour;
sinning in pearls is still sinning.

she combs her auburn hair, watching
the window from the corner of the mirror for his jaguar,
another good woman undressing.

she unbuttons her chiffon blouse, fingering
the edge of skin where nipples rise like tiny flowers
(sinning in pearls is still sinning).

as expected, he arrives, heavy-breathed, apologizing,
he's eager to devour
another good woman undressing.

but interrupted by a motel maid changing
a light bulb, her post-seduction moment sours -
sinning in pearls is still sinning.

she's comforted by the signs of other women cheating,
they are always in need of a shower,
another good woman undressing.

she leaves the motel well-fucked, cursing
the maids self-righteous scour:
another good woman undressing,
sinning in pearls is still sinning.

3 comments:

Melrick said...

I like what you're doing here. Using an old form with a very mainstream pop-tv character. This blending offers a new way to look at the form and the subject. I think this is my favorite of your DH poems yet.

andie said...

I found it a bit repetitive. (kidding i loved it. those lines were great ones to build on.)

That BREE!

Marika P. said...

LOVE this, Rebecca. It's fighting with your Lynette sonnet for my favourite. I found the line about the mirror and the jaguar a little clunky though--maybe you could streamline it a bit?