where the leather's most worn. fringes
wick water from seams. sure call it
fashion if you want. these young
ones have forgotten the real
f-words - form, function.
fancy-stitching to hold
the patches down.
once, nothing at
all was wasted:
nowadays it's
that nothing
is saved.it's
all thrown
away box
and all.
& we
each
only
get
1
.
dedicated to Sherry & Greg who had me beading up a storm in the summer sun, and Elder Mary Lee, who makes things I can only dream of
7 comments:
yeh I know, two in one day is cheating! I have to do other deadlines this week, will try to catch up when I can.
Form and function indeed. Running right down to period at the end is my favourite part -- and the number one on its own -- and oh how many things we only get one chance at.
I love this, andie! Lovely piece of art, words included,of course. Love the f-words, girl ..and who could argue?
thanks!
(ahem..enuff with the cheating,eh? i can't even keep my head above water this may.)
I like how concise this is and, of course, the shape. (Though I wondered if the shape was supposed to imitate something? Fringe?) I also like the flow from title into the first line (and I like the title, just as a title.)
You lose me a bit at the end. I'm not exactly sure what you mean by the 1 that we're all getting... partly because it seems like you're talking about waste and consumerism, but getting only one doesn't fit with that for me. If it's about something bigger -- life, the planet, I think that could be clarified.
great poem. The shape really adds to the meaning for me. What once was valued is now whittled down to a .
I too am a little lost at the end. Is the "1" to suggest one chance? one life? or one pair of moccasins?
what about:
The fact of the matter is, we put the beading
where the leather's most worn. fringes
wick water from seams. sure call it
fashion if you want. these young
ones have forgotten the real
f-words - form, function.
fancy-stitching to hold
the patches down.
once, nothing at
all was wasted:
nowadays it's
that nothing
is saved.it's
easy,throw
it all away
box, bag
and all.
stitch,
shiny
bead:
- we
only
get
1
.
hmm. I liked it better before. this version is using more words to say the same thing, and loses some of the punch of the first draft. I'm still unsure about the 1, but I don't mind a bit of unclarity.
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