like one of those vaudeville tricks
men used to watch from velvet seats
when the city was newly stolen;
there are no wires in this act,
only breath
less-ness
as Sapphire waits for digital
word, or a call filled with echo,
or the hard knocked door
at midnight by the boys in green
who roll quietly up her street;
Sapphire's body suspends blue
air-less,
because her man
(one of the old-fashioned kind)
father to her two girls
sleeps but does not sleep,
eats but does not eat,
cries but does not cry,
far away in a thankless land.
3 comments:
love: "from velvet seats when the city was newly stolen", "a call filled with echo", "roll quietly up her street"
I like the way you've captured her suspension in the way you've broken the lines about "breathlessness", but I wonder if you can use the word suspends less and line breaks like that more? Also, not sure about using both the words blue and Sapphire -- are there other blue things she could be? Or other blue words to use? Just being picky...
I'm not sure what "(one of the old-fashioned kind)" adds to the poem - for one, it doesn't give me any information about him or her and also it breaks up the just-about-to-fall flow of the poem.
But very interesting. More Sapphire, please!
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