A site for May Day, an effort of poets from Winnipeg and beyond, taking place for the eleventh time in May 2015.
Very nice...I especially like the beggining, Andie! There seems to be a change in flow/cadence though, at:ruin. Wished myself back to the/city where weather/was backdrop not stage/direction.Thanks again for the read!m.
Nice work! I like the way you've described the loss of control in the first few stanzas and how it shifts from frightening to frustrating. My only beef here is with the word "smirkage." I prefer a plain old smirk myself...
Hey Andie,I like this, though I wanted the poem to be both more and less consistent...More consistent, in that I wanted a bit more punctuation to help the reader.Less consistent, in that I didn't find that three line stanzas were doing any heavy lifting in this poem.
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3 comments:
Very nice...I especially like the beggining, Andie!
There seems to be a change in flow/cadence though, at:
ruin. Wished myself back to the/
city where weather/
was backdrop not stage/
direction.
Thanks again for the read!
m.
Nice work! I like the way you've described the loss of control in the first few stanzas and how it shifts from frightening to frustrating.
My only beef here is with the word "smirkage." I prefer a plain old smirk myself...
Hey Andie,
I like this, though I wanted the poem to be both more and less consistent...
More consistent, in that I wanted a bit more punctuation to help the reader.
Less consistent, in that I didn't find that three line stanzas were doing any heavy lifting in this poem.
Post a Comment