A site for May Day, an effort of poets from Winnipeg and beyond, taking place for the eleventh time in May 2015.
Hey Marjo,I have a tweak for your second line..."of its white petals"Otherwise, very nice!
i liked this. short and simple and very daisy-like.
I agree. Very nice.I've read it aloud, as is and with Ariel's suggested change, and think it could work either way. Leaving "all" in stretches the line out a bit.
confession: i hesitated & chose not to name the poem format (i.e. Haiku=17 syllables ;) ..i do like the suggestion..
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4 comments:
Hey Marjo,
I have a tweak for your second line..."of its white petals"
Otherwise, very nice!
i liked this. short and simple and very daisy-like.
I agree. Very nice.
I've read it aloud, as is and with Ariel's suggested change, and think it could work either way. Leaving "all" in stretches the line out a bit.
confession: i hesitated & chose not to name the poem format (i.e. Haiku=17 syllables ;) ..i do like the suggestion..
Post a Comment